Friends

Something I got for Chris of his engott character Eicca. :D


Art © ProjectBlue02

Now that it's a new day and I'm not about to fall over from exhaustion and I've reset my mind via sleep, I realize that I really should have thought over how I felt about I'dos before writing that wangsty entry.

If people do accuse me of yanking elements from Avatar, then really.. what does it matter? I know where my ideas came from and what inspired them, all of which came long before I even heard of Avatar. Most of the elements in my own world are very common themes, which I realized last night anyways (I was just feeling really blah about it), so it really doesn't matter. It wasn't a matter of originality - I don't try to be original, I don't try to be unique. The things I make I make for MY pleasure, not for anyone else. Look at Colin, for example. Lots of people think he looks like Alex Mercer or the hunter from L4D. It's annoying when people make that connection because they tend to do it in a accusatory, insulting manner. However, I can see exactly why they make the correlation. Colin DOES look like them and it's only natural for humans to relate new sights to old sights if there's even a slight similarity. I don't really care if Colin isn't original or has a boring design, it's what he means to me that matters. He's not even supposed to be unique, he's just a bunch of my turn-ons made into a character, pff. :P A sextoy for my mind, basically. I don't blame people for noticing the similarities, I see them too.

Anyway, point is, I wasn't complaining that OMG I AM NOT UNIQUE WOE IS ME KILL IT ALL but rather, that I just felt really urrgh about the possibility of people going "lol you stole from Avatar you suck." But like I said, after thinking about it, if that happens then so fucking what. I know that isn't the truth.

I've deleted all the comments on that last entry and edited the contents of the entry as well. It just feels like unnecessary baggage if I leave it there. Please don't be offended by this or anything, it has NOTHING to do with not appreciating what was said. I don't value your opinion any less or anything like that. <3

On that note, I want to thank those of you that took the time to give your opinion. I don't usually get long thoughtful comments like that. I really appreciate your thoughts. <3 Really, I do. Thank you so much!

Wangst post aside.

Kidnapping advienga sometime today.

It's snowing out. Actual snow. It's pretty enough when I'm in my house looking at it, but once I have to go out and deal with it, I loathe it. Also reminds me that I need to buy a snow shovel.

Still spending a lot of time on Tumblr, but nothing hugely relevant.

Also, Formspring! Because I love questions. :D If you have one, link me and I'll +follow you!

We ran out to the mall to grab some things from Target. Forgot it's the Friday before Christmas (because, up until today, it's barely snowed and we've been shut-ins). Wasn't as bad as expected, but we did avoid Walmart. We were up there a few days ago and I wanted to absolutely kill everyone in the building.

I wish I could say I have something interesting or relevant to talk about, but I really don't. At least, not life-wise. Things are kind boring, but that's okay. Lots of stuff is going to be happening in January.

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Demon Ryan + Poe

Alt-U RP stuff, because we're huge faggots. Poe and Ryan (who are happily engaged in the regular universe, Ryan is cleaning up from his casual cocaine use and they're doing good together) ended up seperating (they were engaged AU, as well). Ryan gets his shit all sorts of fucked (including becoming possessed and then developing a heroin addiction). Poe becomes a hunter (not as if this didn't run in her family already, of course).

Where's Poe's purple hair, you might ask? Well, shock and revelation: Poe is a natural blonde.

Seriously.

Really.

I know, it's weird for me, as well. And she's MY headperson.

But, yeah. Natural blonde. But she's almost always dyed it because she hates the blonde stereotypes (despite her not fitting any of them).

Also, related:

I'm feeling kind of hurt right now.

Listless, apathetic, worthless, useless, stupid, thoughtless, dumb.

Another case of 'you're a fuckup, Ally'.

It's so weird how one phrase or comment just kicks the shit out of your mood, shoves it in the garbage disposal and turns it on for gory mayhem.

Meh.

---

And, just like that, it's changed.

Dear Hormones,
I hate you, die in a fire.
Love, Ally.

Amazing. Utterly, incomprehensibly amazing. Sure, maybe the plot was your typical "save the planet/fight the humans/racial conflict" but who the fuck cares. If that's what you have to complain about then holy fuck open your eyes. Everything was beautiful, I don't even know how to explain the way watching that movie made me feel. Ugh, just.. asdlaskjdldkfjafkljklKLDJSKLDF PLUS SIGOURNEY WEAVER. <333

Edit: Removed all the other crap.

This is the end of my light.
No more are the days of proverbial ecstacy.
The door is locked,
I've swallowed the key.
I want no help with this fight.

Woe, woe is me.

8:50 - 10:30 MW Art of Acting (11237)
02:15 - 3:05 MWF Writing I (16121) **
03:20 - 4:35 MW Art History (13889)
-
9:15 - 10:30 TR Art of Theatre (15560)
02:15 - 3:30 TR Life on Planet Earth (11888)
06:00 - 8:30 TR 2D Composition (21196)

Tenative schedule for the MAIN CAMPUS. Only one that's not registered at the moment is the writing class (TJ got the last slot in that one). I'm gonna see if something opens up so I can take it with him.

Still apartment/house hunting up there. The biggest issue is the animals, despite us not having a cat/dog places are all FFFFFFFF about small caged animals. Ugh.

Going up to kidnap Angie today, since she doesn't work until Wednesday. Probably going to bum around and watch Supernatural and fag a lot.

I need to clean, the kitchen is a mess and I'd been avoiding it since I've been crampy and icky.

I'm feeling pretty good lately. I don't know if it's my complete nocturnalism (I don't go to bed until 11AM or 12PM in the morning/afternoon), but I've just been keeping busy with sorting music and drawing. It's pretty nice.

This: http://www.thethingsiwant.com/obliviousally/ has been a fun little time waster, as well.

I JUST WANTED TO THANK YOU, bythefault , for this. It's inspiring as hell and is doing a lot of good for my silly little imagination. Oh man, the crazy scenes playing out in my mind, holy shiiiit.

Time for BBQ sammich. My tastebuds are squealing with glee for the coming yumgasm.

also what the fuck is with LJ being weird and not keeping the format i type shit in. fdgkljdfghfhjgkjkl; OH HAHA HAD AUTO-FORMATTING DISABLED SOMEHOW DURRRR

I know I'm uh.. reaaaally late doing this. :/ I don't really like to do this either, but ah what the hell. I guess I should. Arrggh I always feel so self-centered and guilty doing this though, pffff.

Christmas Wishlist

Wiggly the Squid
LED Jellyfish Lamp
Coin necklaces, one and two. These are what I desire the most.

I don't expect to receive any gifts or anything, just figured I should throw this out there just in case? I don't know. ;_;

If you do want to get me something, ask me for my address - I don't feel comfortable just posting it where anyone can see it.

I LOVE YOU ALL <333

I changed my AIM name! Fractured M was something in reference to Memento and myself when the only character I had was him. It just doesn't work for me anymore. xD

ENJOY SOME CORE


Art © Caza

Click for big!

Art © Hobbitdragon

By the way, that's totally a spoon-fan. He made it. He loves it. 8D

VISITING damie_m IN LESS THAN TWO WEEKS OMMFFGGG SO EXCITED! Also will meet dmarling and maybe dingybatty while out there in Cali. 83 EEEEE. I'll be there from Dec 25th - Jan 5th. I didn't really want to leave on Christmas day but the only way to make it not $500 was to set those particular dates. ;_; So. At least the flights ended up being nonstop and shorter compared to last time I went to Cali, less than four hours each rather than 5-6. PLUS WE FOUND OUR PSP DURING CLEANING TIEM SO WOOO SOMETHING TO DO! Then again I've got some Drizzt books that need reading.

Can't wait! Excited to see what kind of food Damien's husband and he will cook. >_>; He made me awesome food when he was here, sooo.

I LEIK DEM POLLS

So, on Tumblr, a lot of people use Formspring for anonymous inquiries and stuff like that. I decided to sign up for an account in case I wanted to use it for that. Then, I realized, it would make things SO simple for commission inquiries! So I set one up, though I'm not taking any commissions right now.

http://www.formspring.com/forms/?773118-YjyWiKNuYl

I figure, when/if I do again, I can direct people there and not have to deal with the song and dance they make me do on places like FA and stuff. I'm not taking commissions through notes and shit anymore. No way. It's too hard to keep track of things and this way, it looks more proffessional as well. Which looks good on me.

To artist people on my list, how does that look? Should I add anything? Suggestions ahoy!

I also have a formspring.me account, if people enjoy asking anonymous questions: http://www.formspring.me/obliviousally

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Well, it's been a little over exactly three years since I've seriously considered getting a tattoo. I'm thinking about getting one sometime next year. Like, really seriously.



I'm thinking of the plated Pentagram (from Supernatural, it's a symbol to prevent demonic possession) over my heart and the Seal of Metatron (durp, I'm can't remember my favorite games' symbols!) Halo of the Sun (from Silent Hill, it stands for rebirth/resurrection) on the same side of my back, generally aligned with on another, essentially. I'll probably get the Pentagram first, since it's much simpler than the Metatron seal and I want something on my front. Plus, I really like just plain blackwork. I don't know if I'd get something with color, to be honest.

I'd still like to get some script done, but I haven't settled on what.

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I have my writing final at 11:30AM. I haven't slept, but thankfully it's all an online forum discussion. I have no idea what this is going to consist of, but whatev.

While having a conversation about old characters, old art and the like, TJ and I were reminded of our short-lived (mostly because of me) webcomic we had years ago. I mentioned that I didn't think I had the images any more.

BUT THEN.

I REMEMBERED THE URL.

http://furrality.furtopia.org

Good lord, that is all sorts of WTF and failery.

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I'm CLEANING my computer room today. It's needed it for a long time and I would start, but get nowhere before. Tonight, since there's nothing going on (TJ's sleeping and Angie went to bed, so I don't have fagging to do), I decided to buckle down and get it done.

Plus, it make me feel rejuvenated. I like a clean working space. Sometimes it may seem like chaos, but as long as it's tidy and I can find things, it makes me happy and more likely to work on artwork and the like.

I have SO. MANY. T-SHIRTS. But I can't bare to part with any of them. I guess I'm making up for getting hand-me-downs and, well, things that weren't MINE when I was younger. It took a long time for me to actually get a WARDROBE, so I'm kind of attatched to it. Plus, I just really like t-shirts.

I've been finding my old jeans that I've worn through (hi there, fat thighs). I tend to wear a pair of jeans until they give in. So I have a handful of pairs around the house that I no longer wear, but I haven't thrown out yet because I want to find another pair of them. Yes, it sounds weird, but all the jeans I wear tend to be SUPER comfortable. A 'favorite pair' sort of thing. So I'd love to replace them before doing something else (possibly reconning) with them.

---

Karen bought us a little bit of food. Mostly necessities, milk, eggs, bread. She also got us some meat (fish, steak, ham). So that helps a little. We have a small bit of gas, too. Krispy-love is sending me a little money so, while the internet is probably going to be cut off Monday (unless some miracle happens), I can still pay it when I get the monies from her. Which is good. My mom is also taking me down to campus (so we don't have to use gas) for my Writing final on Monday. This is also good.

I'm trying not to let a bad situation get me down. I have food for my animals, Christmas is around the corner and both sets of parents said they'll help out with gift cards and money so we can survive until January. I know most people would be all bitchy about a lack of presents, but I just want to be comfortable. I don't need a lot of gifts, most things I buy for myself, so it's not a huge deal anyhow. Sometimes it's too much of a pain to describe what you want to someone and them not really 'getting it'. Plus, we got a digital camera last year and it's still working fine!

Still trying to rehome critters, since it's going to be difficult enough to get a place with the ferrets and the ratties. Bunch of hairless rats to find homes for (the ones that we, oops, ended up with in August because some people don't know how to sex rats properly), need to find Shank (the bunny) a new home, as well. I need to call a few people this coming week and figure some things out.

I'm also trying to figure things I NEED when I get my money next month. I do need new glasses, it's been...almost four years with this perscription. Plus, I want new frames really bad. Aside from that, pay my bills and work out some sort of food thing. I'm thinking I'll, y'know, actually use my Sam's Club membership and buy non pershibles (sides, canned veggies, stuff like that) because those are the things we usually go for last when eating stuff in the house. I'm just trying to think of ways to be more efficient with my money. Although, having a job will also help with that. It'd be nice to have some money going back IN the bank when some comes OUT.

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So, overall, doing a lot better than I was last post. This is good. I get like that sometimes, but it passes. I know it always does, but it doesn't change the initial flip out for whatever reason. Once I get it out, it starts to get better.

Meh, textures work well enough in place of shading, right?

---

I have reached the height of apathy and zero motivation today. I'm so frustrated about it I want to cry. I'm tired of being broke. I'm tired of not having decent food in the house. I'm tired of failing at everything I do or try to do. Everything is stressing me out right now, I can't even put it into words properly. I can't even take commissions to bring in some income because, well, I already said I'm done with them. I'm not tacking more onto that just to end up refunding them in January.

I'm going to have to retake my writing class. This makes me mad at myself to no end. I pretty much wasted an entire semester because I either dropped everything or stopped going to class. Writing was my only saving grace because I was doing well in it until I started to flake out on my discussion board assignments. Not intentionally, but I'd be out past 7PM (when the boards close) and I'd be fucked. Did I care at the time? Hell no, I was enjoying myself with friends. But now I'm beating myself up over it and I hate it.

I'm stressed out about the rats. I lost Possum last night because I think the nude boys we took in back in August are just...severely inbred and aggressive. I paired them all up thinking it'd be cool because they all seemed to get along and they killed Possum.

Internet bill is due on Tuesday or it's cut off. I thought I'd be able to make it until January (usually I can lapse three months before they threaten to cut it off, and I paid extra last time I paid the bill). I have my writing final online on Tuesday, but I guess that doesn't really matter at this point.

I wish I could just borrow, like, $200 off someone just to help me make it to Jan. Just enough to float me through the holidays and I'd be able to pay them back. It's such a pain. I can't even go out of Labor Ready because we don't have the gas to get my to any worksites. I'd love to be working, don't get me wrong, but everything's been fighting against me about that and it's a pain in the fucking ass.

UGH.

Wangst wangst wangst.

I hate the winter. I always get like this. It's always woe-is-me because shit fucking sucks in the winter. Give me spring. Give me sunny skies and walking weather so I can get out and do what I need to do on my own.